I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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