How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
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