i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Randomize
