Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Randomize
