i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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