If i come over, it means nothing
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
