I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
