i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
