this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
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