ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize