I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
