so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
