Plan B is the new Plan A
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
How's work?
Spinning.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
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