Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
