There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Fuck appropriateness.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
What drink are we having for lunch?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
