I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Randomize