I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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