At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Quick, to the slutcave!
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
