this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
