so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
