And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
