So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Randomize
