i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
