hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
