hotel room ftw
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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