Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize
