Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
