we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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