Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
