How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
