This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Mom said you looked used
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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