Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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