Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
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