well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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