Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
