I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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