Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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