So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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