if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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