ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
