I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
