So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize