I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
