also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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