OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
