he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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