so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize