i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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