Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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