Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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