First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Randomize
