i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Randomize
