We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
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