No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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