And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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