Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
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