I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
